Cop Movies, Book Recs, and an Overdue Quotes Section

This week on Twitter I asked for both new book recommendations and for people to name two cop/criminal movies that were as good as or better than Heat. [I wasn’t implying Heat was the best movie ever, though it is quite good. I was just looking for opinions.] As a thank you (and to make it easier for me to save what you said), I’ve collected your wisdom here for all to read. This is what you guys came up with.

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Quoteable Quotes, June 1st 2011

11:36 PM Turn 6: KartinKen.
11:36 PM KartinKen casts Vampire Hexmage.
11:36 PM KartinKen plays Dark Depths.
11:36 PM KartinKen activates ability of Vampire Hexmage targeting Engineered Explosives.
11:36 PM KartinKen has conceded from the game.
11:36 PM KartinKen has left the game.

Bing Luke -Animated Lebrons are saying my name over and over again. Makes me feel like a baffled dog.

@JennyJohnsonHi5– I hope Jim Henson never jerked off with his “Kermit Hand”, some things are sacred.

Brad Nelson: 
Playing black jack with my grandma. She made every decision for me and all of them against the book. Up 200 in one shoe. No clue what’s going on.

Cedric Phillips:Fun game for friends: Name a person more bitter than EFro!

Julian Booher: muck
Dave Howard: Tim
Julian Booher: there’s absolutely no way he’s in the same league
Tim Aten: You clearly don’t know EFro.
Conley Woods: alternate universe Efro that loses every credit card game?… oh wait…
Tim Aten: I’m “salty.” Completely different set of taste buds.

Erik Thoren: Steve Spurrier, South Carolina’s football coach, telling fans that a fire at Auburn’s football dorm had destroyed 20 books: “But the real tragedy was
that 15 hadn’t been colored in yet.”

@SteveNash on Dirk Nowitzki’s ridiculous game 1 stat line vs. OKC. @ThisBeardSays: @SteveNash i hear he actually wore Birkenstocks inside his sneaks. #germanmagic
(Probably. And Hasslehoff undies…)

@wmap There is a perfect correlation in my house between puppies that have watched True Blood and puppies that try to eat garlic.

@mrfridays Sometimes I wake up with a cut on my back. Until grogginess wears off I think someone broke in a stole a kidney. Then I remember I have cats

Knutson: What kind of name is Akgul for a girl?
Erik Thoren: Have you seen her yet?
Knutson: No…
Erik Thoren: You’ll understand.

Markleggett: What do marauders do all day? Just maraud? Then what?
Markleggett: Marauder’s To Do List: 1- Meet up with fellow marauders. 2- Maraud like crazy all day. 3- Lay out clean marauding clothes for tomorrow.

Mrfridays: Looks like the Rapture happened after all and we’re all in Hell now.  That’s the only explanation for Flores winning a tourney.

Grousehaus: can you ask Mark what pizza delivery place the 2012 development guys like?  Giant Spider would like to send them pizza.

@mrfridays Did you really send R&D a pizza for putting Giant Spider in M12?

@grousehaus A token of my client’s appreciation may have been sent. Giant Spider appreciates those who appreciate Giant Spider.

@sidlowe  28, Actually RT @Vongola13: @OptaTweet-26. Sid lowe complains more than any other journo on twitter. An average of 26 times a day. Bothered

@sportsguy33 I just told my son that Diego drowned in a hot tub and his show is gone. If you see him, don’t say anything.

@griffnvalentine: Funniest moment of the weekend was drinking at a bar with @Top8Games and @SteveSadin. Guy recognizes Steve, then asks BDM if he’s TSG.

Lex of Green: Got asked to help train the new hire. Keep forgetting stuff. “An espresso shot has three parts: the heart, the crema, and the… thorax.”

Lex of Green:  “You need to use the shot in ten seconds or the parts will combine into a bitter cephalothorax. You want insectoid espresso – not arachnid.”

Lex of Green:  “If you steam milk above 170° it scalds and gives you hairy palms. Unless the customer requests it that way. Then THEY get hairy palms.”

@markleggett My leg is asleep. I’m drawing a penis on it.

David Vogin:   as a level 0 judge, has no more access to DCI-F. Amusing to own the domain name and have no access to the website 😀

Quotes – May 9, 2011

Richard Feldman – ‎”Using Therapy to beat hate cards is straightforward: think of the card you fear, picture it in your mind, then say its name out loud. Do this as Cabal Therapy is resolving.”

Mr Fridays- 1̶.̶ ̶O̶s̶a̶m̶a̶ ̶B̶i̶n̶ ̶L̶a̶d̶e̶n̶ 2. Waldo 3. Carmen Sandiego

David Williams -You’d think I’d learn my lesson ordering my Thai food super spicy. Fire goes in…fire comes out.

Russell Tassicker – Starting to worry that my PS3 goes through my wallet while I’m asleep.

Gavin Verhey – First impression of @Card_Kingdom Richard Garfield just casually hanging out in the cafe, having a drink and playing games. Seriously.

Mark Leggett- I think a lot of the appeal with Dame Helen Mirren is that you can’t get her pregnant, no matter how hard you and your friends try.

Matthew Rubin: I eat at IKEA three times a week.
Mr Fridays: They serve food at IKEA?
Matt: Yes. Tasty and cheap Swedish meatball sandwiches.
MrFridays: Do they make you put the sandwich together yourself?

Michelle Tait: I hate getting my picture taken though, which is kind of a drawback
Knutson: wedding day should be all sorts of fun for you
Michelle Tait: I might have to kill someone. Someone with a camera

Knutson: do you still have that brain + gorilla clip you linked me to?
mrfridays: Nigga, I still got my lunch money from the 3rd grade
Knutson: Lies! Yo mama was on welfare and you only had a lunch card.

Courtney DelVecchio- has been laid off three times in one week from the same job. That’s gotta be a record.

Dan Barrett – (Re: The burgeoning PV + Lauren Lee relationship (which, much like #conleyhasdiabetes is probably a complete fabrication)): “The only thing she had yet to qualify for… was his heart”

SamStod – Little known fact- Ichor Wellspring is both a magic card, and the nickname for @witzo’s heart.

Jason Meyer -Sometimes I’ll turn off all the lights and leave the cat in the dark for fifteen minutes, just so I can turn on the lights and see how cute he looks with big dilated pupils. He doesn’t seem to mind.

EDT – You can’t humiliate a Lakers fan because if their team loses, and you call to taunt them it’s always the same “Sorry I’m not here, I’m at the BEACH”

Aaron Forsythe – I have to wait for the plumber to finish before I can head to the prerelease. I didn’t think it was possible for New Phyrexia to be ruined by a leak AGAIN!

Matt Weber – Cicadas are your average suburban teenager. Sheltered for seventeen years, only to play terrible music in hopes of attracting something to screw.

Richi omg the 63 card guy beat me in g1
jfc noob.
Richi monored w 63 cards
Richi ¬¬
jfc extra burn obv
Richi obvobvobv

<brimstone> I remember this one time I played vs Evan in the finals of an 8-4 and he asked to split. And I said no because I watched Drafting with Evan

mrfridays (Re: Michael Bolton and this video) He’ll probably become the natural successor to the throne that Nate Dogg left bare

Quoteable Quotes ca. 2005

I love quotes. People around me say funny things all the time, so when I can, I write them down (or cut and paste from the internet) to save them for posterity.  These are some  from my SCG archives around 2005ish. I’ve tried to update them with real names where possible.

[mixedknut] Your mom stole your car?
[mixedknut] one gets the sense that Brassy’s family is not anywhere
approaching the sphere of “normal”
[(Andy Probasco) BrassMan] yeah well, Brassy gets that feeling too, apparently
[Kowal] His dad programs torpedos

[(Johan Sadeghpour) Sadeg] i saw jens today!
[(Actual Ravitz)zr0e-_-] robot jens
[(not Tom Martell)zr0e-_-] ?
[Sadeg] y
[Sadeg] he actually does a mean robotdance
[zr0e-_-] i know of few swedes that don’t..
[Sadeg] name them.
[zr0e-_-] yes.
[Sadeg] caught you didnt i?
[zr0e-_-] :
[zr0e-_-] i hate you johan.

keitia says: Knutson , my friend , i will give you very last secret information
Card Game says: oh? I love secrets
keitia says: kenji and ruel brothers will team-up
keitia says: and planning to strike Team events all over the world
Card Game says: sweet!
keitia says: including US SOIL !!!
keitia says: you need to call jack bauer, this is the terrorism

Knutson: Gree Dee Emm… what is… fantasista?
BDM: its an animated movie set to classical music about a website editor
who gets these brooms to write draft articles…

[Yawgatog] I don’t know who’d be crazy enough to take the job
[rast-] Yawgatog would!
[Yawgatog] Not crazy enough.
[rast-] think about it
[rast-] yes you are
[Yawgatog] Really not
[rast-] and you’re literate
[rast-] what more is needed
[Yawgatog] Me am not

[{Stone}] I agree
[{Stone}] The mustache is a sign of a bad article
[{Stone}] and it turns me off
[{Stone}] I can’t even sleep with my wife anymore because of the mustache.
[rast-] hers or yours?

Ferraiolo: i dont want to say it too loudly
Ferraiolo: but
Ferraiolo: michael vick: mediocre nfl quarterback? time to face it.
Knutson: he is
Knutson: he never learned to throw well
Ferraiolo: he has the ARM of all ARMS though
Knutson: and the injuries slowed him this year
Ferraiolo: like mike vick has jeff george’s arm and randall cunningham’s legs
Ferraiolo: but like heath miller’s brain

Zvi: Ted should know (since he is an editor) that sometimes, some things
you say get edited.
Zvi: I think that’s bigger news than anything he said about the Japanese
Zvi: someone at Brainburst edited an article!

[pugg_fugg] Hey, Sigler. How do you want to give me my $50?
[JSigler] did i make some awful bet with you?
[JSigler] probably sports related?
[pugg_fugg] Yep.
[JSigler] sigh
[JSigler] i’ll review my finances and have someone from my corporate offices fax
you a restitution form.
[pugg_fugg] The only word I saw in that sentence was “welch.”

[JSigler] My statement of, “Yeah PG” was in response to Hark asking about
the rating on the new Spy Kids movie.
[JSigler] He wanted to make sure he could get his girlfriend in.
[pugg_fugg] Both you and I know that Hark’s girlfriend would only get into
G rated films.

Knutson: player cards 😀
Bleiweiss: Buy a Kai!
Bleiweiss: I fully expect someone like Kibler to place an order for all 100
copies of his own card we have up for sale

Sawyer: yall sell your souls to the eye on the back of the dollar bill
Knutson: clearly
Sawyer: and that’s fine, it exemplifies your ethical boundaries
Knutson: I’ve been whoring out my mother ever since I started working here

BDM: my wife is turning on the TV in the bedroom to watch the Yankees
cry

(Millionaire Playboy Pete) Hoefling: better?
Hoefling: even alphabetized it 😉
Knutson: you da man
Hoefling: that’s how I roll

(Worth Wollpert) Wortho: i didnt even know you guys ran humor
Knutson: we do it all
Knutson: not unlike your mom
Wortho: omg well played

Knutson: concur
Knutson: opinions?
SethBurn: elephanting
SethBurn: to beat them we need to be just as gay as they are
SethBurn: which means persecute/eradicate
Knutson: I was thinking of something more mauve

[TimsWrite (Tim Willoughby)] you attack an island nation (who are the first part of the world
to see the article) on a site proliferated with Brits
[TimsWrite] obv we try to retaliate
[TimsWrite] unfortunately we are a bit crap at battling these days

[flameWRK] oh knut
[flameWRK] snow-wrestling in the streets of Helsinki
[flameWRK] you’ve been listening to Härkönen and Walamies too much
[RuneH] i hear there are polar bears walking the streets of helsinki
[RuneH] even more ferocious than the ones in Oslo
[flameWRK] no, the deadly penguins killed them all years ago

[Simon Carlsson] i just had twilight drover, rotwurm and evangel in play at the same time
[Carlsson] my pants are all wet and sticky now =/

NoahWeil: we decided psychatog would be a little less broken if it was just a
vanilla 5/6 for 3

Bogglor: YOU CLOGGED THE TOILET?
Bogglor: thats the best part of the whole article
Knutson: obv
Knutson: saved it for last
Bogglor: jeeeeesus
Knutson: it was my 4 day dump
Bogglor: yeah i knew it had to be one that you’d packed away for a few days
Bogglor: you store feces like a camel

[platy] i’d rather buy an african
[StrWrsKid] that’s illegal now platy

Aten: this is a VERY IMPORTANT TOURNAMENT ted
Aten: no more phoning it in
Aten: tied w/ kenji and masashi
Aten: not letting them break away

Drunken Kenji Tsumura: Pierre Canali dance is SEXual harassment!