Quoteable Quotes ca. 2005

I love quotes. People around me say funny things all the time, so when I can, I write them down (or cut and paste from the internet) to save them for posterity.  These are some  from my SCG archives around 2005ish. I’ve tried to update them with real names where possible.

[mixedknut] Your mom stole your car?
[mixedknut] one gets the sense that Brassy’s family is not anywhere
approaching the sphere of “normal”
[(Andy Probasco) BrassMan] yeah well, Brassy gets that feeling too, apparently
[Kowal] His dad programs torpedos

[(Johan Sadeghpour) Sadeg] i saw jens today!
[(Actual Ravitz)zr0e-_-] robot jens
[(not Tom Martell)zr0e-_-] ?
[Sadeg] y
[Sadeg] he actually does a mean robotdance
[zr0e-_-] i know of few swedes that don’t..
[Sadeg] name them.
[zr0e-_-] yes.
[Sadeg] caught you didnt i?
[zr0e-_-] :
[zr0e-_-] i hate you johan.

keitia says: Knutson , my friend , i will give you very last secret information
Card Game says: oh? I love secrets
keitia says: kenji and ruel brothers will team-up
keitia says: and planning to strike Team events all over the world
Card Game says: sweet!
keitia says: including US SOIL !!!
keitia says: you need to call jack bauer, this is the terrorism

Knutson: Gree Dee Emm… what is… fantasista?
BDM: its an animated movie set to classical music about a website editor
who gets these brooms to write draft articles…

[Yawgatog] I don’t know who’d be crazy enough to take the job
[rast-] Yawgatog would!
[Yawgatog] Not crazy enough.
[rast-] think about it
[rast-] yes you are
[Yawgatog] Really not
[rast-] and you’re literate
[rast-] what more is needed
[Yawgatog] Me am not

[{Stone}] I agree
[{Stone}] The mustache is a sign of a bad article
[{Stone}] and it turns me off
[{Stone}] I can’t even sleep with my wife anymore because of the mustache.
[rast-] hers or yours?

Ferraiolo: i dont want to say it too loudly
Ferraiolo: but
Ferraiolo: michael vick: mediocre nfl quarterback? time to face it.
Knutson: he is
Knutson: he never learned to throw well
Ferraiolo: he has the ARM of all ARMS though
Knutson: and the injuries slowed him this year
Ferraiolo: like mike vick has jeff george’s arm and randall cunningham’s legs
Ferraiolo: but like heath miller’s brain

Zvi: Ted should know (since he is an editor) that sometimes, some things
you say get edited.
Zvi: I think that’s bigger news than anything he said about the Japanese
Zvi: someone at Brainburst edited an article!

[pugg_fugg] Hey, Sigler. How do you want to give me my $50?
[JSigler] did i make some awful bet with you?
[JSigler] probably sports related?
[pugg_fugg] Yep.
[JSigler] sigh
[JSigler] i’ll review my finances and have someone from my corporate offices fax
you a restitution form.
[pugg_fugg] The only word I saw in that sentence was “welch.”

[JSigler] My statement of, “Yeah PG” was in response to Hark asking about
the rating on the new Spy Kids movie.
[JSigler] He wanted to make sure he could get his girlfriend in.
[pugg_fugg] Both you and I know that Hark’s girlfriend would only get into
G rated films.

Knutson: player cards 😀
Bleiweiss: Buy a Kai!
Bleiweiss: I fully expect someone like Kibler to place an order for all 100
copies of his own card we have up for sale

Sawyer: yall sell your souls to the eye on the back of the dollar bill
Knutson: clearly
Sawyer: and that’s fine, it exemplifies your ethical boundaries
Knutson: I’ve been whoring out my mother ever since I started working here

BDM: my wife is turning on the TV in the bedroom to watch the Yankees
cry

(Millionaire Playboy Pete) Hoefling: better?
Hoefling: even alphabetized it 😉
Knutson: you da man
Hoefling: that’s how I roll

(Worth Wollpert) Wortho: i didnt even know you guys ran humor
Knutson: we do it all
Knutson: not unlike your mom
Wortho: omg well played

Knutson: concur
Knutson: opinions?
SethBurn: elephanting
SethBurn: to beat them we need to be just as gay as they are
SethBurn: which means persecute/eradicate
Knutson: I was thinking of something more mauve

[TimsWrite (Tim Willoughby)] you attack an island nation (who are the first part of the world
to see the article) on a site proliferated with Brits
[TimsWrite] obv we try to retaliate
[TimsWrite] unfortunately we are a bit crap at battling these days

[flameWRK] oh knut
[flameWRK] snow-wrestling in the streets of Helsinki
[flameWRK] you’ve been listening to Härkönen and Walamies too much
[RuneH] i hear there are polar bears walking the streets of helsinki
[RuneH] even more ferocious than the ones in Oslo
[flameWRK] no, the deadly penguins killed them all years ago

[Simon Carlsson] i just had twilight drover, rotwurm and evangel in play at the same time
[Carlsson] my pants are all wet and sticky now =/

NoahWeil: we decided psychatog would be a little less broken if it was just a
vanilla 5/6 for 3

Bogglor: YOU CLOGGED THE TOILET?
Bogglor: thats the best part of the whole article
Knutson: obv
Knutson: saved it for last
Bogglor: jeeeeesus
Knutson: it was my 4 day dump
Bogglor: yeah i knew it had to be one that you’d packed away for a few days
Bogglor: you store feces like a camel

[platy] i’d rather buy an african
[StrWrsKid] that’s illegal now platy

Aten: this is a VERY IMPORTANT TOURNAMENT ted
Aten: no more phoning it in
Aten: tied w/ kenji and masashi
Aten: not letting them break away

Drunken Kenji Tsumura: Pierre Canali dance is SEXual harassment!
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3 responses to “Quoteable Quotes ca. 2005

  1. #1

    (from #themanadrain, 2008)
    [00:47] Here’s a hypothetical for the next debate: Osama bin Laden, Kim Jong-il, Hugo Chavez, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the Castro brothers and Voldemort are sitting around a campfire. There is no question about the intelligence. Do you nuke them?
    [00:48] that’s 7, ask if they want to draft

    #2

    (and even longer ago, like 2005)
    KrmtDfrog: whats the olsen twins countdown?
    st00mie: i really dont get it, theyre so un-hot
    st00mie: such a typical kind of beauty
    st00mie: oh boy, another blonde with big hair
    st00mie: theres nothing unique about them
    BR4M: lol
    BR4M: ofcourse not
    BR4M: they’re twins
    st00mie: …
    st00mie: you know what i mean douchebag

    #3

    Smmenen: when is easter
    Smmenen: i need a date
    Smmenen: so i can fucking schedule my tournament
    Smmenen: on a diff. weekend
    raye_: im not religious i have no clue
    Smmenen: damnit
    Smmenen: someone
    Smmenen: please
    j_o|Lazy: don’t ask me 😀
    Smmenen: nm i found out
    Smmenen: you’re all heathens or jews
    waSP_: “Smmenen: i need a date”
    * j_o|Lazy changes topic to ‘Smmenen: i need a date Smmenen: damnit Smmenen: someone Smmenen: please’
    * Smmenen changes topic to ‘You all suck’

    • The less-than and greater-than symbols in my original quote accidentally blanked the names of who said quote #1. It was “kirdape3” and “jet|lpt”. I will leave the identities of the various parties to the semi-anonymity of their IRC nicks.

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